This is the post that I've been dreading for quite some time. I don't like dealing with confrontations and this is a major one. But, as the lyrics from Alice in Wonderland state, "The time has come...".
So, to all of my friends and family scattered from Ukraine to Oklahoma, I have to face the facts and let you know that my Peace Corps service is ending. Officially, it ended on Monday {June 11, 2012}. It's been a long time a'coming and when people recently asked me whether I'd be going back or not, I usually tried to skirt around the issue.
My time in Ukraine was wonderful and something that I will cherish forever. There were three things I really wanted to accomplish when I joined the Peace Corps: learn a new language, be immersed in a totally different culture, and travel. I'm fairly happy with the fact that I can basically check those three items off my bucket list {although the travel part will never be done!}. But it's still bittersweet. There are days that I've been here in the states and wish I were still in Ukraine. Those are the bad days, when I miss the more simplistic life of a Peace Corps Volunteer. But I've had a lot of good days since I've been here in Oklahoma.
I never could have dreamt that this chain of events would happen. Getting sick in February...which was really mono but we didn't know it...and then getting pneumonia while recovering from mono. It wasn't fun, but couldn't be avoided {no matter how much antibacterial hand sanitizer I used!}.
I am still recovering from mono. The recovery period can be months {and some people say it takes a full year...fingers crossed that that is not my case}. The past two weeks-ish have been better. I was finally given the go-ahead to start working out and jogged for the first time since January. Granted, I lasted all of seven minutes at a v e r y slow pace, but ya gotta start somewhere :) it also made my body hurt in ways that I had forgotten because I've been so inactive for the past 5 months. Five months. Of being sick. Let that settle in for a minute...
Since COS'ing {Close of Service, in Peace Corps lingo}, I have to make one more minor adjustment. Upon arriving in Oklahoma, it's been hard for me to say where "home" was. I really have just avoided saying "home" in general since being in OK {typical Lydia style}. When I lived in Ukraine, I called Kirovograd my home. I was from Oklahoma, but K-grad was my home. At one point during my service, I had a few Ukrainians comment to me that I called Ukraine home. I totally didn't see the weirdness of this. And I still don't. I had every intention of spending my two year service in Ukraine...so why wouldn't it be my home? But now, I have to change that and start calling Oklahoma home.
I'm not sure what the next few months will hold. Still resting. Helping my parents move to a different house in Norman. Doing design stuff for the new house.
I'm kind of in a funk right now and don't know what else to post in this entry...so I'm going to go ahead and hit publish. Perhaps more thoughts will come tomorrow :) but for today, that's all I've got.
4 comments:
I get you calling Ukraine home while you were there. I sometimes catch myself saying "home" for a hotel when I'm on the road. It's home away from home!
I totally do the same thing here, I always refer to my apt at site as my home and Ukrainians think this is really funny.
I just want to say how proud of you that I am. You did what you wanted to do. You didn't plan for it to end this way, but it did. I am proud of how you went ti Ukraine without knowing anyone and you did a wonderful job while you were there. And you will find what works for you here. Hang in there and know that you have made a difference.
Love you,
Susan
Someone once said...Life is what happens while we are making plans...you've heard of plan B? This must be plan G, God's plan for you right now. I am grateful that you have the opportunity to recover here, near your parents. I think that is a blessing. Keep looking for the silver lining in all this, it is out there, plus God never wastes anything we do in His name. We might not see all the good that has/will result from your time in the Ukraine, but it is out there and you will see glimpses of it for the rest of your life. You are a very special person Lydia, That feeling you have about being "home" in the Ukraine just proves that you have enormous heart for people. God will not waste that! You are precious to Him and precious to all of us too. It is now time to rest and recover for your next adventure.
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